Putting leaves back on the tree?

Recently I saw a sweet Tik Tok video of a toddler crying over falling leaves. Through her tears, she wailed “I won’t get to meet them. I promised I would meet them all, and now they are falling down and dying, and I can’t stop it. It’s all my fault.”

Upon reflection, I see a bit of us all in that little girl.  The pandemic has blown away our previous plans like the autumn leaves, and as we emerge into an opened-up world, changed in ways we don’t fully understand, we are like the child looking at all the dead leaves on the ground. Perhaps we blame ourselves for not knowing how to put the leaves back on the trees (resume outgrown friendships, relationships and pastimes). Perhaps we grieve the career path or plans we no longer crave, because we will never get to “meet” them and become who we planned to be.  

In the Minor Arcana of the Tarot, there are ten cards in each suit.  We are at the ten card of the pandemic.  Covid is still here, but we are far from the shock of lockdown, refrigerated trucks of corpses, and the long wait for vaccines. Yet we are just as far away from agreeing on how to safely navigate this opened up world, from stepping into who we have become and claiming the one card, the next phase of our lives.

Is this why so many people want to drag us back into an outdated past, believing in some 1950’s sitcom version of “the good old days” that were only good for rich, white men?  Forging a path forward requires grasping the harsh reality of now, while trusting in our creativity, believing our inner compass can guide us through this strange place that was not on any map.  This is the purpose (and the test) of our intuition.

We are all making history, right now, this moment. And if we chose to be born into this time and place, iwe have a place at the table, a gift to help illuminate this dark moment.    

We can’t put the dead leaves back on the trees. They cover the ground to fertilize it, and create homes for small creatures and insects to shelter through the winter.  They were shed so the trees can focus on growing and developing their root systems.  Yes, while all looks dead and dying, those root systems are underground going wild, so the trees can flourish and burst forth in the spring.

So lean into grounding and embracing the soft, slow winter months.  I used to hate winter, but I look forward now to hot cocoa, snow, soft sweaters and blankets, cozy fires and deep dreaming.  I trust that in the darkness, I am dreaming all that will blossom in it’s right time. Timing is everything.